If we can see value in ourselves, independent of performance, then there is no need to protect ourselves from failure. We need not seek excuses or distortions that will protect us from the reality of how good we are at the things we do. We can accept ourselves in success or failure alike. We can love the way we are, the way we choose to live, rather than requiring the validation of others or accomplishments to feel valuable. Our pursuits do not define us, but rather they provide us with ways of experiencing ourselves. A word to the naysayers: This will not remove our motivation to perform. Success feels good in and of itself. Doing something well can be its own reward. Separating personal value from accomplishments will simply provide the freedom to focus on the task itself, rather than becoming obsessed with what success would mean.